Which describes you best?

I know not everyone likes labels, but if you had to label it.....what would you say? Also, tell us what it is like to be lesbian or bi where you live. If you are straight, tell us how lesbians and bi are perceived where you live.

yellowsmileyfaces wrote:I know not everyone likes labels, but if you had to label it.....what would you say? Also, tell us what it is like to be lesbian or bi where you live. If you are straight, tell us how lesbians and bi are perceived where you live.

I always felt Bi in my life, but in closet...
I appreciate so much this labels, good idea.

I am bi in the closet as well. I have spent a life hiding who I really am, not sure I would know what to do if i did not have to anymore. My question is......do you think out and proud people look down on in the closet people? Have you ever felt they do?

I am a bi in the closet too and I wanna stay there !

I found that I was bi ..but so bi ... but very very bi .. when I was 30
I never felt that way actually. I don't think they do as a general rule.
There may be someone who does .. but never known one as far as I am concerned,

I think your question points out the ridiculousness of labels and the lack of understanding and tolerance among all human beings. Why would, of all people, the "out" members of the LGBT community impose what we think is "right" or our choices on each other? It is bad enough that society tells us we are wrong...and abomination....we should be this....we should believe that. Why would those who live "out" be so quick to judge those who do not choose to be? It makes no sense to me. .

I have lived both "in" and "out". I have seen the difficulties of being on both sides of the closet door. I have lived with the fear that if ANYBODY knew of my inner truth, I might lose everything or, worst of all, bring pain and disappointment to those I care for the most. I have also felt the relief of not having to lie anymore and see that love can be stronger than intolerance because, fortunately, I have a strong very forward thinking family and circle of friends. While not all of them personally approve of my "orientation", they take the time to know me...the whole me and know that I am more like them then different. (I don't call it a "lifestyle" because I believe that is saying being a Lesbian or Bi is a choice and not a physical part of me...only an outward manifestation....like being a "hippy" or a "Goth" or even like being a Vegetarian...all of which are choices) I am also fortunate to live in a fairly liberal part of this country. A country that is growing ever more intolerant it seems.

I guess I have been somewhat guilty of this. I think it is fine if someone wants or, for self preservation, needs to take on the very difficult task of living two lives, with its own set of fears and pain...sometimes more difficult and unbearable than living openly Gay. I just can't bear the fact that SOME closeted gays, in their "straight" persona, would "go along" or encourage intolerance and unfair treatment. I can forgive a misguided teenager going along with the crowd to appear cool..disregarding all that he or she feels and knows inside is right or wrong...but not adults who know inside they are not a "Mistake of God" and "allow" or never question the treatment of those who are openly gay. Not even taking the risk just to point out that none of us deserve this earthly judgment.

Like my wonderful Grandma K (all be it certifiably insane Grandma K) use to tell me....God does not make mistakes......

I guess people are truly more alike than different. Some of those who "have"...don't want to be those who "have not" weather it be riches of freedoms. So we separate ourselves and don't even try to understand we all have a different path to walk. I wish you a good life YSF in the closet. It is not an easy life but either is it "out"....but not entirely because of what you think....you can always find another path to walk...just takes time and effort.....but it is because life itself is not easy...and it won't be until we can all just relax and enjoy the ride....and those who "have" can share with those "who have not" and we all can just live....

Sorry....musing again....

Let me quickly amend what I said in my previous reply...

I did not mean anyone here, especially the author of the topic, or very many people I have ever known was one of those I mentioned that lived in the closet and, in their "straight lives", actively encouraged intolerance of discrimination toward the LGBT community. I was referring to several private and public figure I have come to know in my lifetime that have done that. These people were very vocal against the rights of and, in some cases, the very existence of all persons Homosexual. Only to find out, sometimes by their "outing" or by their own admission, that they were themselves gay. While I understand putting up false fronts to protect yourself....I do judge or look down on those who go to the extreme of adding to the problem....in order to hide from it.

As I said, I know how it is to be in the closet and why, and I know how it feels now to be out. I was just trying to point out that...yes as seemingly the only "Out" person on this panel....in this one circumstance....I did look down on this kind of closeted gay.

Sorry for any misunderstanding....

WOW!!! I need the time to read all Mother Ocean!!!

I agree there are people out there like that....but i also think that there are people that just think they are better than everyone else because they are able to be themselves. however, i guess we all get to choose.